Pinktober365.com

I recently submitted my PINK story for a wonderful website, Pinktober365.com. The website is a collection of stories from breast cancer survivors and breast cancer warriors, and the goal is to create a daily awareness for breast cancer. If you know of anyone who would like to share their PINK story, please let me know and I can place you in contact with the website's creator. The following, is my PINK story:

It has been said that someone doesn't become passionate about something until it affects them personally. Finding a cure for breast cancer is personal to me...my grandmother, my great aunt (my grandmother’s sister), my aunt, and stepmother are all breast cancer survivors!

I have always walked and volunteered for the local Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure events in cities that I live in. Once I learned about the Susan G. Komen 3-Day I really wanted to walk it. But there was never a walk close enough to where I lived. Then my luck changed...I relocated to Dallas, Texas!

In January 2009 when I first registered for the 3-Day, I had no idea about the journey I was beginning. During the next 10 months I learned so much about myself, the things that are really important in life, and what I can do when I put my mind to it. I also learned of many more friends and friends of friends who had won the fight against breast cancer.

As I walked the last mile of my first 3-Day in November 2009, I kept saying to myself over and over "I can't believe I just walked 60 miles!". I also knew that it wouldn't be the last 60 miles that I would walk to find a cure for breast cancer.

Including my first walk in Dallas in 2009, I have walked five different events in three different cities (Dallas ’09, ’10 & ‘11, Chicago ‘10, and Tampa ‘11). I have walked multiple cities in a year, including walking back to back events in 2011. All of the walks are special to me, although walking Chicago in 2010 tops the list. While my stepmom and I were training for the walk, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was six weeks post-op from her mastectomy when we walked, and she was able to participate in the Survivor’s Circle for opening and closing ceremonies. And the cherry on top was having all of my family there to cheer us on and experience it with us.

I walk for my family members and friends who have beat this disease. I walk for all of the fighters of this disease who I will never have the honor to meet. I walk for the awareness and education the 3-Day event creates in communities. I walk because I know that one day a cure for breast cancer will be found!

Consider doing something extraordinary and join my PINK 3-Day family for the 2012 Susan G. Komen 3-Day!

The Gift of Life

Almost 3 years ago I wrote a post about organ donation in light of my aunt receiving a heart transplant. It's hard to believe that I am back writing about another family member being given the gift of life through an organ donation.

My stepfather received a new lease on life by receiving his heart transplant a few short days ago. Thankfully I can report that so far everything is going well. His breathing tube has been removed, and other than feeling tired, he is feeling as well as can be expected.

After my initial post about organ donation, I gave a lot of thought about becoming an organ donor. It wasn't until last year when I needed to change my address on my driver's license that I finally made the decision to become an organ donor.

I'll be honest that a big factor in me making this decision was due to a family member being personally affected by organ donation. When I thought about my aunt being given another chance to live her life -  to continue being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, grandmother, aunt - I thought about the donor who made such a selfless decision to help someone they probably wouldn't even know. I also thought about the donor's family too. Although they have lost a family member, their loved one has given the gift of life which hopefully provides a sense of comfort to them.

As many reasons as there are for becoming an organ donor, there are many reasons people are against it. I'm not here to sway anyone's thoughts one way or another. I'm just here to create awareness and give you something to think about.

I'll Always Love You

Typically I try not to get too personal on my blog. Although today I thought I should pay a special tribute to my Grandmother who passed away 10 years ago today. This past Saturday as I watched the Whitney Houston home going service, my thoughts immediately went to my Grandmother when Kevin Costner spoke of his memories growing up in a Baptist church.

When I was young, I spent every free moment that I had with my Grandmother. My parents and I lived with her when I was younger, and I believe that is where our special bond began. Or it could have been that I was the first grandchild. A big part of the time we spent together was going to church on Sunday morning. I remember my Grandmother always being dressed in her finest, from her church hat to her dress suit, purse, and heels. We always sat in the same place every Sunday. And somehow every Sunday I managed to get a butterscotch candy that she carried in her purse.

Probably my most favorite memory is having family dinner after church at her house on Sundays. My family would be there, my aunt, my cousin, and my Grandmother's boyfriend, Bill. My Grandfather was killed in a car accident a year or so before I was born, and I never knew him. Bill was a part of my life as early as I can remember. Although he and my Grandmother never married, he was like a Grandfather to me until the day he died a year and a half after my Grandmother died.

My Grandmother was raised in the South and somehow migrated to the North. (I regret that I never asked her more about her younger days or about my Grandfather). Being that she was born in 1919, she experienced segregation first hand. I can still remember watching the Miss America pageant with her when Vanessa Williams was crowned the first African American Miss America. My Grandmother was so proud and happy. When Barack Obama was elected as the first African American president, all I could think about was how proud my Grandmother would have been, and that I wish she would have lived to seen that moment.

My Grandmother was a kind, loving and caring woman who was respected by so many. To me, she was my Grandma and someone that I loved more than anything. She was taken from me so unexpectedly during a brief hospitalization. A few nights before she died, I received a call from my father that she had been admitted to the hospital, yet he didn't think that I needed to drive the 4 hours home. I tried to call her that night at the hospital but I couldn't reach her. He encouraged me to keep trying, and I finally did speak to her. She sounded like herself and had that laugh that I will always remember. Little did I know it would be the last time I would hear her voice. Two nights later I received a call that I would need to travel home as soon as possible. My Grandma was on life support and never did regain consciousness. Her death occurred two days before what would have been her next birthday and a big surprise that we had planned for her.

There are very few days that I don't think about my Grandma. When every good thing happens in my life, I want to call her. I know that she still watches over me and that she is with me every step of the way. I carry her and her memories with me in my heart. And I will always love her.

NaBloPoMo Prompt: Do You Live Close to Your Family?

According to Mapquest, I live approximately 16 hours 18 minutes or 995.82 miles from my family, and there are 4 states that separate us. (Guess I'll be thinking twice about driving home for my brother's wedding in June) 

Since the early '90's I have lived in a different state from my immediate family. My first move from the state of Michigan only placed me over the state line to Indiana and about 30 minutes from them. It really didn't really feel like I had moved away from home and I would still see my family all the time.

My next move kept me in the state of Indiana, took me to Indianapolis which is about 3 1/2 hours away from family. I finally completed my bachelor's degree and landed my first 'real' adult job that had career potential. The distance wasn't too bad since I was able to drive home for a weekend or whenever special family things came up.

My next move was due to a career change, and took me to Cincinnati, Ohio and about 5 hours from my family. Due to the travel with my company and the added distance, this move started making it a little more difficult to see my family. Now trips home were planned in advance or around a holiday or other special event.

My next move brought me to where I currently live, Dallas, Texas. Needless to say, the distance (and my business travel schedule) only allows me to travel home once or twice a year, definitely around the holidays or when other special events that I have planned to return home for.

Do I miss living near my family? Definitely! I miss just being able to drop by my mom's home for a home cooked meal, or go tailgating with my dad for a Notre Dame football game. I miss not being there when there is a family illness and being able to provide comfort and support. I miss getting together just because it's Friday.

Who knows, maybe one day I'll move closer to my family. Until then, I'll be thankful for frequent flier miles and the ability to get a direct flight home when I need it. And I'll enjoy my siblings letting me be 'the favorite' during those short trips when I am home!


Pic of me & my family after the 2010 Chicago 3 Day Walk

The Countdown Is On!

Well, ‘the break’ is finally over and the countdown is on…only 9 weeks until I am finished with my master’s degree! (And the crowd goes WILD!!!!)

I’ll be honest, the past 17 months have been pretty busy (and mostly stressful) working on my master’s degree. Possibility it wasn’t the smart idea to pursue this endeavor while working a job in which I travel at a moment’s notice, am away from home for long periods of time, work 12 hour days, and training for multiple 3 Day Breast Cancer Walks. In the beginning, this sounded like a great idea. And now, well, it’s just been exhausting!

I’m ready to have my life back to do things that I enjoy…sleeping in on my day off, watching hours of mindless TV shows recorded on my DVR, doing things with friends (hopefully I will still have a couple when this is all said and done!), and doing absolutely NOTHING if that’s what I want to do.

To be honest, I’m excited about being able to focus on my blog. We all know that it has suffered over the past year. I’m excited about being able to seriously focus on living a healthy lifestyle and lose the weight I’ve always wanted to lose. I’m excited about focusing more on my family and friends. As supportive as they are, I am certain they have felt neglected on more than one occasion.

So even though the countdown is on to finishing my degree, the countdown is really on to the next chapter of my life. And that within itself is pretty exciting to me!

Who Knew There Is a Collector in the Family?

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to travel home to see my family who lives in Michigan. After moving to Texas a little over 4 years ago, I am sometimes limited to seeing them only once or twice a year. Most times it is during the holiday season and there never seems to be enough time to spend with everyone. My most recent trip was great and I seemed to learn something about family members that I did not know before. For instance…

I didn’t know that my father is an avid coin collector. I knew that he had an interest in the state quarter collection (he gave me and my siblings each a collection to begin back in 1999) but I had no idea the amount of coins (and dollars) that he has collected over the years! Although I have learned that my state quarter collection is “tainted” (more to follow later), it was interesting to learn about the other coins and dollars that he has in his collection. At least now I have an idea of what to get him for future gifts.

My father also shared with me his medal collection from being in the Army. He was honorably discharged due to an injury and when he submitted a request to the military for something he needed, he received several other medals that he had never received before. I was very proud to learn about his time spent in the Army and what each of the medals meant. In addition to those medals, he was also able to secure medals that were given to law enforcement officers during President Obama’s inauguration. These medals are a wonderful keepsake and remembrance of a very special day in history.

Now back to my “tainted” state quarter collection…

When my father gave each of us a starter collection for the quarters, I thought the idea was to collect each of the state quarters which were released each year. So whenever I received change from a business, I would look to see if I needed the quarter of not. Well, 11 years later I have learned that was not how I was supposed to complete my collection! The goal was to get new quarters that have never been in circulation to place in the collection. My collection has a combination of quarters since some I received from my father (which were never in circulation) and the other ones came from who knows where. I told my father that he left out a very important piece of information when he gave those starter collections to us. Now he has offered to “sell” me the uncirculated quarters that I need. I have a feeling that it is going to cost me more than $12.50!

Happy Anniversary?

This afternoon when I checked my email there was a message with ‘Happy Anniversary’ in the subject line. Since I’m not married, I was kind of perplexed by the subject. That is, until I opened the message. It was from my university telling me that it has been one year since I decided to pursue my master’s degree. I guess that could be considered an anniversary although someone forgot to send me flowers!

As promised in my last post, I said that I would catch everyone up on where I have been and why my blog went into hiatus. Now you know the reason…pursuing my master’s degree. Obtaining my master’s degree has been something that I wanted to do for a long time, and I finally decided to jump in with both feet last year and “Just Do It”! Little did know how my life was getting ready to change.

This past year has been one of the most stressful years in my entire life. About the same time I started my master’s degree, my step father was diagnosed as being at the beginning of the end of congestive heart failure. Then a few short months later, my step mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Then I decided to sell my home. Once it sold, I had about 2 weeks to find some place to live, pack my home, and move (that was due to being out of town for 3 ½ months for a work assignment). And just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, two people that I think the world of told me that I didn’t have time for anyone anymore, including them. Needless to say, I was (and still am some days) at my breaking point.

So when I received the email today, one word and its meaning stood out to me: Perseverance: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. For me, this one word summed up what I had not been able to about what this past year has symbolized for me. Although October 10, 2011 (the last day of my last class!) seems far away, I can slowly begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

I am beyond thankful to report that my stepfather and stepmother are both on the road to recovery. No, I’m not homeless, but I am transient again until I can find that place I can really call home. And my relationships? I wish I could say I am succeeding…I am still working on them one relationship at a time.

Writer's Block?

Writer's block - a condition, associated with writing as a profession, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work.

Ok, let's be honest, my blog doesn't constitute 'writing as a profession', but I am experiencing a bit of writer's block! Just when I was ready to jump start my blog into something great, post every day, and hopefully have lots of dedicated followers, this writer's block thing set in. (And besides, I really didn't think anyone cared if I was posting or not, until someone told me that I hadn't posted anything in a while.)

Right now it seems like my life is at such a crossroads: I will be turning 40 in about a month (can't believe I just typed that!), I am restless with my career choice, I am seriously contemplating starting my Master's degree (ok, I am scheduled to start online classes next week so I guess it is more than just 'contemplating' at this point), and I am dealing with a family member being seriously ill.

My crossroads has moved me to the point of not doing anything, which isn't good. I would say that I need to get away, but the truth of the matter is that my last work assignment ended over 6 weeks ago, so what would I be getting away from? Some days I just wish there was a 'Do Over' button and that I could reset my life to a certain point in time. But honestly, I don't even know what point in time I would choose.

Hopefully my writer's block will pass soon. Hopefully I will pass my crossroads even sooner.

Did I Miss the Baby Gene?

A friend of mine got married several months ago. Soon after the wedding took place we spoke about how she and her husband were looking forward to becoming parents and were hopeful to become pregnant within the next year. I remember how happy and excited she was looking forward to their new life together.

Then today she shared with me that she experienced a miscarriage at the nine and a half week point in her pregnancy.

When she told me the news my heart immediately broke for her. I know that she will make an AWESOME mother once she is blessed with children. I am thankful that she is in a very good place with what occurred and knows that God has bigger things in store for her and her husband. To top it all off, her doctor is very optimistic that she should be able to conceive again.

Since I began blogging I have encountered many blogs by women who have documented their experiences with infertility and miscarriages. I can't read the blogs for long because I find myself saddened. I don't know if my sadness is for them or if it is for me...I have never had the desire to have children. I sometimes wonder 'Did I miss the baby gene when I was born?' because I don't understand the deep desire that many women have to have children.

From the time that I was a young girl I knew that I didn't want to have children. Even once I married my thoughts never swayed about that (very fortunate for me since my marriage ended before it really ever began). Interesting fact is that I really love children and people often comment how good I am with them. I have a wonderful 8 year old goddaughter who means the world to me and there isn't anything that I wouldn't do to protect her or for her well being.

Until about a year and a half ago I had been suffering for 5 years with a medical condition that had made my life so intolerable and unpredictable, and me, incredibly miserable and unhappy in the process. Since I was in my early thirties at the onset of my medical problems, my physician wanted me to wait until I was older to make a final decision about having a hysterectomy. When my medical condition finally got to the point that I had no other medical alternatives I proceeded with the operation.

Leading up to the surgery I wondered how would I really feel once the choice was no longer mine about not having children? What if I met someone and they really wanted us to have children together? I can honestly say that I have never had a moment of regret about my decision.

So, to answer my original question: Yes, I think I did miss the baby gene, but I also believe that someone more deserving than I received it instead.

An Afternoon With My Goddaughter

The other day my 8 year old goddaughter and I had an outing to a local mosaic studio Smashing Times. The first time we went was a couple of years ago and she absolutely loved it! She is sooo creative and it amazes me how quickly she can come up with an idea and then BANG! she has created something!

Me on the other hand...I want for whatever I am going to make to be perfect. (Well, as close to perfect as I can get it.) I want to pick the right project, the right color tiles, and the right placement of the tiles. While I was sitting there contemplating life, my goddaughter was a third of the way finished with her project. Needless to say, I didn't do a project on this outing!

After we were finished we stopped by Sonic because it was Happy Hour! And if you don't have a Sonic in your area...Happy Hour means that all drinks and slushes are half price everyday from 2 pm - 4 pm. (Certainly you didn't think I would take an 8 year old to a real happy hour, did you?) Her drink of choice was a Green Apple Slushie and mine was a Strawberry Lime Aid Slushie - yum!

On our way back to her house she said 'Auntie, I used to think that you were my fairy godmother and not my godmother.' (Yes, I do remember her telling people that but honestly I thought she knew what the difference was)

She went on to say 'I used to think that you could fly places.' (Yes, I do remember her asking me about flying. Just when I thought we were joking about flying, I guess she was serious!)

The more I spend time with my goddaughter she reminds me of things that are important in life: laughing, having fun and believing in oneself. Sometimes I get so caught up in the busyness of the day and forget about the things that should be important, not the things that I have no control over or cannot change that I let dictate my life.

Christmas Q & A

I found this on Don't Scare Easy via ICLW.

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy this entire post. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then post this on your blog.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Gift bags...I hate, hate, hate to wrap gifts! So if anyone ever receives a wrapped gift from me they should know they are pretty darn special!

2. Real tree or Artificial? If I only had a tree....but, in my pretend world it would be a big, full, beautiful real tree.

3. When do you put up the tree? See the answer to Question #2.

4. When do you take the tree down? It's down already! See the answer to Questions 2 & 3.

5. Do you like eggnog? Yummy! And especially if it has something 'adult' in it!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Hmmm...I can remember getting a Merlin electronic game that seemed pretty cool. But now I believe that I have dated myself.

7. Hardest person to buy for? Everyone...I don't have any idea what to get anyone. Thank goodness for my sister who does all of the shopping. With the exception of her gift!

8. Easiest person to buy for? Me! I am always willing and ready to give someone a list of possible gift ideas.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? I don't have a Christmas tree. Do you really think I have a nativity scene?

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? I actually mailed a couple of Christmas cards this year. Finally, a step in the right direction!

11. Worst Christmas ever? Christmas 2008 in regards to the travel. My connecting flight was cancelled and in turn my luggage showed up a day or so later. Then when I was ready to leave there was an ice storm that delayed me most of the day.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie(s)? Seriously??? I'm not a fan of Christmas movies.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? If I have to, about 2 days before. No wonder I am always so stressed!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Certainly!

15 .Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Anything home cooked. Although my family typically does a non-traditional meal (crab legs and steak) so I miss the good stuff from Thanksgiving.

16. Lights on the tree? If I had a tree (see Question #2) it would have lots and lots of white lights.

17. Favorite Christmas song? I don't care for Christmas music. At. All. But 'Let It Snow' would probably be it because I hate the snow.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? I am typically traveling to see my family in Michigan. Since I have been an adult, I have never spent Christmas where I live. Sad, but true.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Nope!

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Both. My parents are divorced, hence I spend Christmas Eve with one parent and Christmas Day with the other parent.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Everything!

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? I don't have a tree, let alone a theme.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? It would be ham, macaroni and cheese, sweet potatoes, greens, and peach cobbler for dessert. But since we have a non-traditional meal I can only dream.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Absolutely nothing.

Now it's your turn. If you play, please leave me the link so I can read your answers.

Thanksgiving Is What You Make It

This year I spent Thanksgiving away from from my family due to my current work assignment. I am uncertain what made this year different as I haven't always spent Thanksgiving with my family. But for a reason that I cannot put my finger one, I really wanted to share this Thanksgiving with my family.

Maybe it was knowing that my office wasn't going to do anything special to recognize the holiday. I mean when it is less than 24 hours to the holiday and talks are just beginning about 'What should we do for the office?', anything that was going to be organized for 125 people should have happened well before then.

A few good friends that I know were on this assignment with me. For some of us it had been awhile since we had last seen one another. The next thing I knew a plan was in place to go to Ruby Tuesday for lunch. Ruby Tuesday was having a holiday meal - roasted turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, and sugar snap peas. So off we went. And you know what? The meal was really good! But what I think was even better was the company.

We talked about our job and how it take us away from the people we love in addition to making us desensitized to the fact of there even being a holiday to celebrate. How everyday is just another day unless we are at home and able to celebrate with our families. But on the flip side, here we were celebrating the holiday together as friends who were reunited on this assignment and making the best of it. We shared some laughs and funny holiday stories. We even left there with our bellies full (minus the sweet potato and pecan pie!).

Later two of us decided to see a movie after work. Although it wasn't the movie I would have picked (more about the movie in another post), it was still good to continue the day with someone else and not just return to my hotel room. It reminded me of last year when I did spend Thanksgiving with my family and we went to see a movie Thanksgiving evening.

As my friend and I parted ways for the evening, I found myself commenting that the day had been far better than I expected it to be. I had the chance to fellowship with good friends throughout the day. Most importantly, I didn't feel alone. Although I didn't spend the my family, I spent the day with my adopted family of friends who I chose to spend the day with. Things didn't turn out so bad after all!

Another Year Older...

As many of you should know, I recently celebrated another birthday! Now, I won't go into detail about which birthday this was, but 35 sure feels good again! And for those of you who didn't send presents, it's never too late!

I had the pleasure of sharing my birthday with my family (Dad, Cindy, and Sharon) and friends in Dallas. I'll stress 'in Dallas' because I have been on assignment for work continuously since the first of the year. So needless to say, this sistah was ready for a break!!!

The week started with Sharon arriving first. We did the sisterly bonding thing - meeting some of my friends (Lavonya and Diane at the Grand Lux Cafe - yum!) and getting our hair did. My sister still doesn't understand that getting one's hair did is a process (sometimes a looong process) but well worth the end result. And I have to say that she went home with some cool looking hi lights! Watchoutnow!

Dad and Cindy arrived, and let's just say the eating REALLY began! We hit some of my favorite spots (Blue Mesa Grill, Dickie's Bar B Que, Pappadaeux's) and a new favorite, Del Frisco's. An AWESOME steak house, and I'll go on record to say that I am glad it was MY birthday and that someone else was picking up the tab! In between all of the eating, we did check out a few sites: a Texas Rangers game, the Dallas Arboretum, and First Monday's in McKinney. But most of all, we had a great time just being together.

And I cannot forget the presents...one of the best things about a birthday! Some of my presents traveled far to be with me: a special friend sent me two dozen beautiful red roses, I received a GPS system (great for traveling to all of my exotic locales!), a Tassimo coffee/cappuccino/any kind of drink you want maker (great for guests who want java in the morning), a Target gift card (that's MY spot!), and a tons of birthday phone calls and emails.

Over all, I had an AWESOME birthday...I wish that everyday could provide the same great feeling that I get from my birthday being my special day. Even if things go wrong, you can count on something great happening within a few minutes!

Until next year....

Organ Donation

In the wee hours of the morning today, my aunt underwent a successful heart transplant surgery. She had been placed on the national waiting list on Good Friday, and yesterday received the call that a match had been found.

I am extremely grateful and thankful for the second chance at life that my aunt has been given. At the same time, I also wonder about the person who's heart she received and their family.

In my quest for answers, I found myself at http://www.organdonor.gov/. Did you know that as of April 7, 2008, there were 98,718 candidates on the national waiting list for organ donations? And that each day about 77 people receive organ transplants? These figures leave me speechless and humbled as I think about my aunt and realize how blessed my family truly is.

Probably like most of you, I didn't totally realize the importance and need for organ donors and the impact that organ donation has on others. It is so unfortunate that many times we don't think about the concerns of others until these concerns impact us personally to become our concerns.

Deciding to be an organ donor is an extremely personal choice. But what a wonderful gift to give to someone else! Although my family may never know where my aunt's new heart came from, from the bottom of my heart I thank the person who decided to have the forethought for giving the gift of life.