Friday, February 3, 2012

MWF Doesn't Find BFF

Well, I finally finished reading MWF Seeks BFF. Being the nice person that I am, I think my initial thoughts about the book might have been a bit harsh. At least by the end of the book, the writer seemed like she became a bit more normal and less obsessive about her pursuit and expectations for friendship. The writer didn't find a new BFF although she did find about 22 new, solid friendships (according to her Dunbar Number calculations, she only had room for 20 more friends anyway). Moving on...

Overall the book left me very intrigued about friendships - how they develop, how they are maintained, and how they end. I think most people think that I'm a fairly like able person (of course I do have my moments!), and that I've never met a stranger (I think I have my dad to thank for this trait). A friend says it's because I smile a lot which makes me engaging to others (who knows). It's very easy for me to start a conversation with someone on just about anything.

On the flip slide I don't talk about myself very much. Although I'll admit that I'm an open book (just ask me anything you want to know and I'll tell you), in the same breath I'll say that I'm also a very private person. (If you're not directly asking me something about me, I'm probably not voluntary telling you what you want to know). I can still remember participating in a team building exercise at work. One person who I considered a work friend said "Shannon knows a lot about me, but I hardly know anything about her. She has a way of turning the conversation around to make it all about me." And she was right.

In light of my shortcomings (believe me, the list is long), I still don't have a problem meeting people. After reading MWF Seeks BFF, I think making friends is a more conscious effort for some people than others. My biggest problem is developing friendships with people that I meet. Part of this I blame on my career choice (traveling for weeks at a time can make it difficult to give a new friendship the attention that it needs) and the other part is that I don't have a big desire to find 52 (or even 22) new friends like the writer of the book did.

I'm sure if I figured out my Dunbar Number, there's probably room for more friends in my life. Maybe I should figure out what that number is. Well, one day...


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